Grammys, Schrammys… Bring on the TMAs!!!

What Every Singer Dreams Of For Christmas... Right???

The National Academy of Recording Arts And Sciences announced this year’s Grammy nominations this week, and well, like every year, it’s a mixed bag indeed. Let’s start with the good: Lady Gaga got her props (yay!). And I know there’s a Taylor Swift backlash thing happening, but I was happy to see the nominations for “You Belong With Me” (haters always try to tarnish female vocalists with the “But she can’t sing!” argument; it’s so sexist–I mean, people all agree Bob Dylan’s a great artist, and his voice sounds like driven-over slush).

Now, let’s move on to the bad and the ugly. “I Gotta Feeling” was one of the five best tracks of the year? I actually like the Black-Eyed Peas, but oh, PLEEEEEZ. Beyonce’s “Halo” isn’t quite as bad, but I’m not sure if it’s one of the top 5 songs on Beyonce’s album, let alone everyone else’s. And again, it’s hard not to sigh at the Academy’s continuing habit of rewarding tried and true artists just for being who they are, no matter how mediocre their material (I’m talking to you, U2!). Above all, it is just sad to wade through the bloated list of nominations and find so little of music that truly inspires, music that makes you immediately want to tell all your friends (and readers) about, music that makes life worth living, gosh-darn-it!!!

So in order to correct the musical scales of justice for once and for all, I set aside my disappointment with the Grammys and replace it with this: the Official Nominations for the 2009 Tommyland Music Awards (cue the Applause sign)!!! It’s time to separate the grating from the great, the artificial from the artistic, the generic from the genius, the pap from the pop, the terrible from the Tommylicious. ARE YOU READY… TO… RUMBLE???

**My nominations are based on the 2009 calendar year, not the weird August-to-August year the Grammys use, so albums released in 2008 couldn’t be considered (although album tracks released as singles in 2009 were still eligible). This explains why albums by Beyonce and Taylor Swift aren’t in the running (they WERE nominated for the 2008 TMAs, which I may recap some time). Also, there is a small possibility that the nominations may change slightly from now and 12/31, as there are still 3 1/2 weeks left in the year for me to be exposed to some new bad-ass music. Any changes will be noted on this site.**

**Final Edition**

BEST DEBUT ALBUM (I don’t really understand what criteria the Grammys use to determine their New Artist award; I prefer using the first album as a concrete form of criteria)

— Adam Lambert, For Your Entertainment
— Alessi’s Ark, Notes From the Treehouse
— Florence and the Machine, Lungs
— Kris Allen, Kris Allen
— La Roux, La Roux

BEST ALBUM

— Lady Gaga, The Monster (The Fame was nominated for the 2008 TMAs)
— Lily Allen, It’s Not Me, It’s You (love that title)
— Pet Shop Boys, Yes
— Swell Season, Strict Joy
— Tori Amos, Abnormally Attracted To Sin

BEST TRACK BY A MALE ARTIST

— Adam Lambert, “If I Can’t Have You”
— Eminem, “The Warning”
— Kris Allen, “Heartless (Live Version)”
— Loney Dear, “Airport Surroundings”
— William Fitzsimmons, “Heartless”

Lady Gaga And Adam--Clearly Thrilled With All Their TMA Nominations


BEST TRACK BY A FEMALE ARTIST

— Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”
— Mariah Carey, “Betcha Gon Know (The Prologue)”
— Sarah Blasko, “All I Want”
— Taylor Swift, “You Belong With Me”
— Whitney Houston, “Million Dollar Bill”

BEST TRACK BY A GROUP

— Girls’ Generation, “Gee”
— Glee Cast, “Endless Love”
— Our Lady Peace, “All You Did Was Save My Life”
— Pet Shop Boys, “The Way It Used To Be”
— Simian Mobile Disco, “Audacity Of Huge”

BEST COLLABORATION TRACK

— Ciara & Justin Timberlake, “Love, Sex, And Magic”
— Madonna & Lil Wayne, “Revolver”
— Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johanssen, “Relator”
— T.I. & Justin Timberlake, “Dead And Gone”
— Project Jenny, Project Jan & Fujiya & Miyagi, “Pins And Needles”

BEST ROCK TRACK

— Girls, “Lust For Life”
— Kris Allen, “Heartless (Live Version)”
— Mando Diao, “Dance With Somebody”
— Our Lady Peace, “All You Did Was Save My Life”
— Weezer, “(If You’re Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To”

BEST HARD ROCK TRACK

— Linkin Park, “New Divide”
— Nirvana, “Sliver (Live Version)” (I KNOW Kurt’s dead, but their Live From Reading live CD was released this year, and it’s utterly awesome)
— Papa Roach, “Lifeline”
— Seether, “Careless Whisper”
— Telezombies, “Why”

Guest vocalist extradionnaire JT, also with many nominations

BEST R&B TRACK

— Ciara & Justin Timberlake, “Love, Sex, And Magic”
— Mariah Carey, “Betcha Gon’ Know”
— Pitbull, “I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)”
— Sade, “Soldier Of Love”
— Whitney Houston, “Million Dollar Bill”

BEST RAP TRACK

— Drake, “The Best I Ever Had”
— Eminem, “The Warning”
— Jay-Z & Alicia Keys, “Empire State Of Mind”
— T.I. & Justin Timberlake, “Dead And Gone”
— Outsider, “Outsider”

BEST DANCE TRACK

— Black-Eyed Peas, “Boom Boom Pow”
— Cobra Starship & Leighton Meester, “Good Girls Go Bad”
— Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”
— Sally Shapiro, “Save Your Love”
— Simian Mobile Disco, “Audacity Of Huge”

BEST COUNTRY TRACK

— Taylor Swift, “You Belong With Me” (Taylor’s already won; it’s the only country-ish song that I heard all year that I wanted to hear again)

BEST KOREAN POP TRACK

— 2PM, “Again & Again”
— G-Dragon, “Heartbreaker” (Yes, he ripped off “Right Round,” but he also made it sound 100x better)
— Girls’ Generation, “Gee”
— Outsider, “Outsider”
— Super Junior, “Sorry Sorry”

BEST POP TRACK

— Alessi’s Ark, “The Horse”
— Das Racist, “Combination Pizza Hut And Taco Bell (Remix)”
— Girls’ Generation, “Gee”
— Madonna & Lil Wayne, “Revolver”
— Sarah Blasko, “All I Want”

BEST BALLAD TRACK

— Adam Lambert, “If I Can’t Have You”
— David Choi, “Won’t Even Start”
— Glee Cast, “Endless Love”
— Mariah Carey, “Angels Cry”
— William Fitzsimmons, “Heartless”

BEST ALTERNATIVE TRACK

— Loney Dear, “Airport Surroundings”
— Pet Shop Boys, “The Way It Used To Be”
— Phenomenal Handclap Band (w/Lady Tigra), “15 To 20”
— Project Jenny, Project Jan (w/Fujiya & Miyagi), “Pins And Needles”
— Tori Amos, “Flavor”

BEST TRACK FOR FILM, TV, OR STAGE

— Bruce Springsteen, “The Wrestler”
Glee Cast, “Endless Love”
— Linkin Park, “New Divide”
— Miley Cyrus, “The Climb” (Yes, I know, but it IS a good track…)
— Subtle Sexuality, “Male Prima Donna”

BEST COVER TRACK

— Adam Lambert, “If I Can’t Have You”
Glee Cast, “Endless Love”
— Kris Allen, “Heartless (Live Version)”
— Mariah Carey, “I Wanna Know What Love Is”
— William Fitzsimmons, “Heartless”

BEST VIDEO

— Camera Obscura, “French Navy”
— Depeche Mode, “Wrong”
— Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”
— Subtle Sexuality, “Male Prima Donna”
— Taylor Swift, “You Belong With Me”

Sorry, Lily--There's Always Next Year!

THE ARTIST OF THE YEAR

Adam Lambert
Glee Cast (Seriously. They reminded us just how FUN music can be!)
Lady Gaga
Pet Shop Boys
Tori Amos

THE BEST TRACK OF THE YEAR (20 nominees for this biggie):

— Adam Lambert, “If I Can’t Have You”
— Alessi’s Ark, “The Horse”
— Ciara & Justin Timberlake, “Love, Sex, And Magic”
— David Choi, “Won’t Even Start”
— Eminem, “The Warning”
— Girls’ Generation, “Gee”
— Kris Allen, “Heartless (Live)”
— Lady Gaga, “Bad Romance”
— Loney Dear, “Airport Surroundings”
— Madonna & Lil Wayne, “Revolver”
— Mariah Carey, “Betcha Gon’ Know”
— Our Lady Peace, “All You Did Was Save My Life”
— Pet Shop Boys, “The Way It Used To Be”
— Project Jenny, Project Jan (w/Fujiya & Miyagi), “Pins And Needles”
— Sarah Blasko, “All I Want”
— Simian Mobile Disco, “Audacity Of Huge”
— T.I. & Justin Timberlake, “Dead And Gone”
— Taylor Swift, “You Belong With Me”
— Tori Amos, “Flavor”
— Whitney Houston, “Million Dollar Bill”

All of the TMA winners will be announced between Christmas and New Year’s Day. I now leave you with Lily Allen’s “F*ck You,” which just missed out on being a Best Track nominee. It’s not meant as a message to the Grammy people, I promise.

F*ck You – Lily Allen

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: