I’ve written sixteen pages thus far for the first draft of my would-be novel, and one thing I’ve learned is that I’m a night writer (no David Hasselhoff jokes, please). Writing just seems to come a little more naturally during nighttime for whatever reason. That being said, writing is no easy, just-sit-down-and-let-it-come kind of deal; it is work, no doubt about that. For me at least, writing comes in spurts and sputters, the words flowing through one minute then arriving at a dead end the next. But as frustrating and scary as the writing process has been thus far, it has been most of all exhilarating. It makes me feel amazingly, ridiculously alive and happy. Of course, that’s not to say that a word of what I’m writing is any good, but still, I’m cautiously optimistic.
One thing that I haven’t found writing to make me feel–not even for a moment–is lonely. Sure, I’m alone when I’m writing, but that’s not all that different from the time that I DON’T spend writing. Being a bonafide Solid Introvert according to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) test, I’ve always been very much a loner. But lonely? Only rarely (the last time I remember feeling acutely lonely is during the period after my break-up, and I’m not even sure if that counts, because my longing was not for general companionship but specifically for one person).
It’s my personal theory that the people who feel the loneliest in the world aren’t the loners (like me), because loners for the most part know how to handle living life with only their own resources. It’s the people who NEED people who aren’t so lucky (sorry to contradict you, Ms. Streisand), as they are the ones who feel the need to seek others more often for acceptance, company, comfort, validation, or whatever. This is the theme Wilco addresses in “How To Fight Loneliness,” and as beautiful as the music is, the picture painted by the lyrics isn’t quite so pretty. In fact, it’s downright heartbreaking:
That’s how you fight loneliness.
You laugh at every joke.
Drag your blanket blindly.
Fill your heart with smoke.