Okay, let’s talk about sex, like Salt N’ Pepa. On last week’s episode of “The Office,” the cast went around making a list of sex’s pros and cons (Kevin asserted that the pros of “It feels unbelievable” and “It feels amazing” were absolutely different and needed to be listed separately). I wish I was there to raise my hand and add one more pro: It’s a way to prove to yourself that you’re alive, truly alive, oh my God yeah just like that, ALIVE!
Perhaps an anecdote will help. There I was at Seoul National University Hospital a few nights ago helping to take care of my aunt (truth be told, I don’t really do much of anything except heat up her stomach pads in the microwave once in a while). My aunt was asleep, and I went outside to go use the restroom. It was really late, so the hallways were pretty deserted, and as I hurried to the restroom (I really had to go), an orderly passed by with a stretcher followed a lady who was quietly crying.
When I got to the urinal and started doing my business, it hit me. The stretcher was draped over with a cloth. Somebody was dead under there. It was the first time I had ever been in close vicinity with a dead body. And it felt… well, truly morbid, which makes sense, because I think of the word “morbid” as meaning “reminiscent of death,” and what in the world is going to remind you more of death than death itself? I felt weird, I felt chilled, I felt bad for that poor lady… But you know what I sure as heck DIDN’T feel? I didn’t feel sexy. At. All. Why? Because sex is all about the feeling of being alive, feeling the sensation of all the atoms in your being set in motion. Let’s let Justin bring it all back: